i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
