Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
