We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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