Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
