You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
