How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Randomize
