Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
