You're a womanizer and a bitch.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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