What a fucking waste of an outfit
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Randomize
