I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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