I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
