the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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