Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
MIDGETS
????
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize