singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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