super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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