Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
