And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
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