Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
