we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
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That's how twitter works, right?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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