guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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