Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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