Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
