does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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