I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
