What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
What a dumb baby whore.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
