apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
