wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
