Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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