Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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