Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
