Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
two words: eviction party
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
