I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Randomize
