Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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