I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
