The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
