Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
