Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
