whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize