My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
