well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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