As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
