so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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