dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
