this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
