break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
