gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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