I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
