No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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