what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
