seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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