You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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