More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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