We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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