i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
