ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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