I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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