Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
